Peer Review for Julia Davenport

This post will be about me peer reviewing Julia Davenport's standard college essay.

• Her essay  titled "How Art Professionals Utilize Writing" was about writing within as an art historian and a studio artist. Here is the link to my comment
• I chose the re-design suggestion activity because I saw that Julia had a lot of the information needed for the paper but did not organize it in a way the assignment asked for. 
• I feel that I did a good job of steering Julia towards what the assignment wanted. Her paper was a good paper but was not the right paper for the assignment. I did not recommend her starting over because I liked a lot of the paper as it was. I suggested that she keep a lot of it and just add points of clarity so that her paper can fit what the assignment wanted. 
• I drew a lot of my comments from our class discussion on the assignment. We also went over the conventions of a standard college essay so I drew my suggestions from those conventions as well. 
• I thought her introduction was amazing and made me realize that mine needed some touching up. I also liked how she referenced her sources and then used the quotes to tie back to what she was discussing. This is something I have been struggling to do but looking at her paper showed me a great way to use in-text citations.